Now: I’ve been in a reflective mood lately. I think that often happens when one is going through some sort of transition. And I am. Several.
I’m six months pregnant. Here’s a picture of the little guy:
But I’m also going through a transition of another kind. As I’m getting ready to give birth to the newest addition to our family, I’m also pushing this film, Living Downstream, out into the world. And, like having a baby, the process is both exciting and scary.
As I’ve been preparing for these two very different births, I’ve been thinking back, and asking myself when this all started. What was the day when I first realized that Living Downstream would actually be made? It was actually a day almost exactly like today.
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Then: It was sunny outside. I was working from my home office. I was pregnant (this time, with my first child, Hannah). And while I was typing on my laptop, I received a call from the representative of The Ceres Trust. The Ceres Trust is a foundation with a mandate in sustainable agriculture. And they were calling to tell me that my grant application had been accepted.
With that one phone call, I knew that I had the money I needed to begin shooting the film.
In that moment, I felt free. I had been developing Living Downstream for more than a year. I had been researching, shooting, writing treatments, and writing many, many funding applications. In the months and years that would follow, I would continue doing all these things. But there would be a big difference - I would do them while knowing that the film would actually get made.
But in the next moment, I saw clearly the work that stretched out before me. (Maybe not that clearly - I didn’t know it would take two and a half years to finish the film, nor that once it was finished, I would be launching into a massive outreach project!) Over the past year, I had been working to be able to make the film. Now, I would actually be working on making the film. Instead of simply planning, I would now also be executing.
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And this is where I find myself again today. It’s a beautiful, crisp sunny day in Toronto. I am working from my home office. I am pregnant with my second child. As he sleeps quietly in my belly, I think about how similar my situation today looks to my situation back then. I even have another image to prove it:
And yet, things are quite different. My daughter, Hannah was born two years ago. She is walking and talking and laughing and playing. She is learning to dress herself and feed herself and use the potty. My baby is a little girl, my son develops in my womb and I am finished molding my film.
But while the creation of the film is complete, its life is just beginning. Pregnancy is, for me, the easiest part of motherhood. And I am beginning to realize that making the film might just be the easiest part of being a filmmaker. I am beginning to realize that this next stage of work on Living Downstream might be more challenging - and much more rewarding - than the making of the film itself.
